A better word would be “boundary-less” Practical Submission. Here is what young impressionable single Christians are being taught about “submission” by “Focus on the Family” here. The following question was posed:
DEAR BOUNDLESS ANSWERS
What does submission look like for Christian women, in a concrete, practical way? It seems like there are reams of paper written about how submission is biblical, produces good fruit, and (most importantly, repeated over and over again by every conference speaker, pastor and talk show interviewee ever) submission doesn’t mean treating women disrespectfully or like doormats. Well, yadda, yadda, yadda, I know all that, but what does it mean, then?
For example, does it mean that after careful research and serious consultation with his wife, a husband has the final say on:
- How many kids to have? What type of contraception to use — NFP or artificial contraception? How the kids should be schooled — at home, public or parochial? Whether the wife should be stay-at-home mom or work outside the home?
- Where to live geographically? Whether or not to be a homeowner? Whether to move for a job?
- What church to go to?
- Whether or not to invest money, in say, a 401k or college savings plan?
- What about a gut-wrenching, horrible issue — like, a kid gets diagnosed with life-threatening cancer, and the parents strongly differ on whether they should treat it aggressively, or go with hospice care? After talking about it and doing the research, does the husband still have the final say?
The answer Focus on the Family’s Candice Watters provides is (in part):
In a word, the answer I’d give to your question is yes. In some of your scenarios, of course — moving, choosing a church, investing — that answer is easier to accept than in others.
A very long time has elapsed since I was “single” (We will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary this year, the Lord willing). And I no longer qualify as “young and impressionable”. And baby, here is where the rubber meets the road! I am the real live poster girl of someone who practiced what Candice just preached when she said “YES” to that young lady’s entire list of questions.
- moved 25 times, lived in 6 states and two foreign countries. oldest daughter attended 11 schools before she graduated high school… all for hubby’s jobs, “pursuing his dream” (he has yet to be fulfilled, and I am convinced will never be by the job changing and moving)
- he didn’t believe in birth control, though he wasn’t very happy with me for screwing up NFP and getting pregnant either. Been pregnant 11 times, birthed 8 full term living children (who are my greatest treasure in life!!!!!!!!)
- wasn’t “allowed” to buy a vacuum cleaner when I needed it, domestic violence ensued when I signed a cell phone contract (even though I had asked him and totally explained the whole thing before hand- apparently he was tuning me out???)
- wasn’t allowed to get medical treatment when I needed it. He actually called up the PA and told her she was NOT to treat me! She told me that I can keep my medical issues private, but I was afraid that would be “unsubmissive” to be treated behind his back. :(
- was yanked out of Christian counseling at a time when it was a lifeline for me. We started because it was required for something he wanted to do- namely “be a missionary”. He didn’t like how I was “changing” and he forbid it and I was afraid that it would be “unsubmissive” to go anyway.
Here’s what I think Boundaryless is teaching. I don’t think its Christianity.
Here’s a good word for it: Its XERXEanity!
I repented from Xerxeanity!
Xerxeanity is the belief that
“every man should be ruler over his own household”
That’s a link to a verse in the Bible.
Go ahead and click the link to meet the poster boy for that doctrine.
Hint: It doesn’t have even a remote resemblance to CHRISTianity!
Can Marital Rape Be a Woman’s Fault?
http://www.boundlessline.org/2009/02/husbands-demanding-sex.html At least the line is drawn here. The above post was in response to several males going so far as to insist that a husband is entitled to force himself upon his wife sexually. Yeah, well, perhaps “boundaryless” is unfair? We draw the line when it comes to spreading the legs? Its hard to do that when one has trained one’s husband to be a spoiled rotten, selfish, arrested toddler in a 50 year old man’s body! He wants HIS WAY! He wants it NOW! And if he doesn’t get it, by golly, he will throw a temper tantrum! (more Xerxeanity!– eg ever notice here when he throws a temper tantrum because she won’t appear nude in front of him and his drunken buddies?)