Unto the woman HE [God]said,
I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception;
in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children;
and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Gen 3:16
desire desire desire desire desire…
can be a twisted pathetic thing :(
which leads to MUCH pain :(
she has made her husband an idol :(
until the pain is soooo great…
that she cries out unto GOD
“WHO shall deliver me?”
JESUS is the bridegroom
The Hebrew word translated “desire” in Genesis 3:16 is tĕshuwqah or teshuqah defined as “desire, longing, craving” with the root word meaning “to run over, to overflow”. As noted in a previous post, God’s pronouncement here upon the woman is nowhere labeled a “curse” (likewise, God’s pronouncement upon the man). The word teshuqah occurs in two other places in the Bible: Genesis 4:7 and Song of Solomon 7:10. Among some circles, much is made of the fact that desire in Gen 4:7 is SIN’s desire to master Cain. Woman is painted as wanting to similarly MASTER her husband in an evil controlling sort of way However, “a woman” should not be forced to correspond with “SIN” just because both sentences contain the neutral verb “desire”. To assume a negative condemning slant on the neutral verb “desire” is unjustified. The teshuqua/DESIRE spoken of in SoS 7:10 is sexual passion in a positive light.
Based on two mentions of pregnancy in the immediate context, the DESIRE of Genesis 3:16 very likely has a component of sexual passion. We don’t know what the “desire” level was before the Fall. There is no mention of the man and the woman having sex before the Fall. I don’t know if they did or didn’t but there is no mention that they did, and the first human conception occurred AFTER the Fall. One mention of pregnancy in Genesis 3:16 is where God tells the woman “I will greatly multiply… thy conception” Consider the biological differences between HUMAN females and females of any other species. HUMAN females have much more frequent menstruation and fertility (the possibility of conception is “multiplied” compared to other mammals) HUMAN females are willing and desirous of “mating” even when they are not fertile.
Something happened between Genesis 1:31 “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”
and Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”[1 ]
What happened? Why did things go from “very good” to “not good”? It had something to do with Adam(human) being alone. I refer to “Adam” as “human” here because the human contained the woman, and- in that sense cannot strictly be considered biologically male . Was Adam(human) moving away from intimacy with God? becoming too isolated and independent? What kind of HELP/ezer is the woman designed to provide? I found insights into this through word studies of ezer(2) as well as ancient Hebrew pictographs
Adam/human has a deficiency, a need–> enter WOman.
Paul sheds light on this relationship in 1 Corinthians 11, described here by Bristow (3) (emphasis mine):
In 1 Cor 11:9, Paul reminded his readers that woman was created because man needs woman. The Authorized (King James) Version misses the force of the words in Greek. It reads simply, ‘Neither was the man created for the woman, but woman for the man.’ Many modern translations render Paul’s words more accurately: ‘Neither was the man created for the sake of the woman, but the woman for the sake of the man.’ What Paul was unmistakably stating is that men need women. . . Paul was reminding his Jewish readers that before God said said that Eve’s desire should be for her husband, Adam already needed Eve. 
The fruit of sexual desire, frequent childbirth, and the toil/labor/pain/ sorrow of childbirth will render a woman quite dependent upon her husband financially. For the sake of her children, she does not have the freedom or inclination to up and leave even if her marriage is painful. Mothers naturally lay down their lives for their children (this “maternal instinct” is evident in both animals and humans).
Based on personal experience, DESIRE does not refer exclusively to sexual passion. My experience is a DESIRE to please, to satisfy, a DESIRE for approval. Based on historical patterns of male oppression, control, and abuse of women without much effective resistance, this tendency toward people pleasing conformity bears out as common to women, including unmarried women. For a modern day example, consider women shrouded from head to toe in burkas. I cannot think of a parallel passively accepted wide scale humiliation of males.
Gary Thomas  associates the Genesis 3 DESIRE with the uniquely female propensity to tolerate cruelty, disrespect, adultery, offensiveness and still be “more afraid of waking up without him than of waking up next to him” because of a “sinful propensity to define themselves according to their likability- or acceptance- by men”. Thomas makes a sharp contrast between his real life female example of inordinate clinginess in the face of horrible behavior with real life male response: “Contrast this with a recent question-and-answer article in Sports Illustrated, in which a number of professional male athletes were asked if they would ever take back a “runaway bride”, a woman who left them at the altar and embarrassed them in front of their family and friends. Not a single athlete said he would. One of them responded so vehemently and colorfully that I can’t even print his answer in this book”
The latter account also highlights the tendencies of men and women with regard to “cleaving“. Not coincidentally, women- with their inordinate “DESIRE”- are never instructed by God to “leave and cleave“. That instruction is repeated 4 times in the Old Testament, twice by Jesus, and by Paul and is exclusively directed to HUSBANDS.
Joel Davisson speaks of how this “DESIRE” can work in favor of reconciliation for a husband who is estranged from his wife
For ME RIGHT NOW, the DESIRE is to go back to the garden of Eden where woman was EQUAL, VALUED, APPRECIATED:
compare the reality before the act of eating with that afterwards… When Adam first saw Eve, he so focused on similarities – “she is bone of my bones; flesh of my flesh” (2:23) – that he called her isha; (woman), which, in the popular etymology of assonance, is nothing more than ish; (man) with a feminine ending. As (wo)man is a prefixed man, so ishah; is a suffixed ish;. The consciousness of difference, however, now creates division, requiring a loincloth of fig leaves to mask what sets them apart. (source)
The DESIRE of Genesis 3:16 is not said to be good or bad. It is a consequence of the Fall and CAN bring a woman much pain in her life. However there are redemptive aspects- even of the pain. Just like the pain of childbirth brings forth the joy of new life, the pain of the crucible of marriage brings forth deepening sanctification and heightened dependence upon and intimacy with JESUS. The Bible speaks of the REST women find in marriage (Ruth 1:9). Marriage books talk of of a spouse being “a soft place to fall” and marriage being a place of safety. Such “rest” and safety I have never experienced in earthly marriage, but upon being yoked to JESUS, upon cleaving and clinging to HIM alone, I find REST for my soul and protection for my spirit. When her DESIRE turns completely to the bridegroom of heaven, when her mind is fixed upon things above rather than things of the earth, therin lies rest.
The woman is the perfect counterpart of man, possessing neither inferiority nor superiority, but being like and equal in personhood, and unique and different in function. (Genesis 2:18) emphasizes man’s need for a companion, a helper, and an equal. He was incomplete without someone to complement him in fulfilling the task of filling, multiplying, and taking dominion over the earth. This points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency
3. “What Paul Really Said About Women” by John Bristow page 58