I am a firm believer that you and I are each MEET for the husbands God gave us
You are MEET for yours, I am MEET for mine.
The help MEET calling for each woman
is unique
because she and her husband are unique.
You can be absolutely certain of this:
Whatever God CALLS you to do and to be,
HE is ready willing and able
to equip and empower you
to do and to be!
I used to feel trapped in my marriage,
but now I marvel at the confidence God has in me..
to be a help MEET for THIS man!
Its has become a faith building adventure to submit to the LORD as HE
so faithfully and tenderly, gently and firmly, and graciously
forms me into a help MEET for my husband.
~
Help MEET Bible study
(hot linked to online Bible Study helps)
In Gen 1:26-28 God gave both male and female dominion over creation:
they are the King and the Queen
I do, however, see them given different roles
Gen 2:15¶
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden
to dress it and to keep it.
Clicking on the word “keep” will take one to the Strong’s definition of the Hebrew Word “shamar” (which is not just gardening). It is to protect, guard, watchman, preserve, etc which implies there is an enemy, a danger and Adam is responsible to guard and protect.
Eve’s intended (by GOD) role is stated here:
Gen 2:18
And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him.
By clicking on the word “help meet” one can see that it carries the meaning of aid, succour, one who helps. But please notice the other occurances of the Word by scrolling down the page at that link. The same word translated “help meet” of women is used of God.
So the husband has the authority to protect, nurture, nourish, cherish, love, understand, value, esteem, and respect his wife (see also Eph 5 and 1Peter 3 instructions for husbands). And the wife has the authority to help, nourish, love, be subject to (aka vulnerable to) her husband (see also Eph 5 and 1Peter 3 instructions for wives)
I dislike the historically demeaning interpretation of “help meet”. For example look at this description:
John Gill (1697-1771) Bible Commentary: I will make him an help meet for him; one to help him in all the affairs of life, not only for the propagation of his species , but to provide things useful and comfortable for him ; to dress his food , and take care of the affairs of the family ; one “like himself” {c}, in nature, temper, and disposition, in form and shape; or one “as before him” {d}, that would be pleasing to his sight, and with whom he might delightfully converse, and be in all respects agreeable to him , and entirely answerable to his case and circumstances, his wants and wishes.
She sounds very much like a “household appliance”.
Slightly more useful than a plain doormat.
Here is a description which really ministered to me. I found it very edifying and empowering in a way which is constructive to both myself, my husband, and our marriage:
From Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. “It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]” (Gen 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is “notoriously difficult to translate”. The various attempts we have in English are “helper” or “companion” or the notorious “help meet”. Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat… disappointing? What is a help meet, anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing “One day I shall be a help meet?” Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it “sustainer beside him.”
The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.
Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he were not there beside you… you are dead. A better translation of ezer would be “lifesaver”. Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.
Thank you for the words of affirmation especially in regards to November 14-16. For many years God has been teaching me the real truth in regards to marriage and family life. The most prominent lesson lately is my role as a “caretaker” which alligns exactly with the idea of being a “watchman in your home”.
I am still learning, still working through the “defense mechanisms” that I have used to right the wrong thinking. But God is gracious and patient, as well as my children and husband, and we persevere.
Must go, though I have much more to say.
Thanks for the commentary.
“Hupomone” Dozet
Thank you for the encouragement, Becky
So glad to hear from a kindred spirit who likes to dig into the greek! I find that God’s Word is so full of treasure. Each thread fits together and altogether form a beautiful tapestry.
Happy Thanksgiving (in the US)
[...] Help MEET [...]
I just found this site and want to say THANK YOU!
I’m going through a difficult time with my womanhood, marriage and motherhood. A site like yours is like an oasis in the desert of commandments, misinterpretations and Bible used to destroy people.
Thank you!
God bless you, Charis
Thanks for the encouragement, Ruth
The gospel is GOOD NEWS
TRUTH will set us FREE
Thanks be to our precious Lord
[...] Help MEET [...]
http://www.injesus.com/index.php?module=message&task=view&MID=XB007AQ3&GroupID=UT00UO0B
The above is a link to an article that we wrote on “Help-Meet” The moderators of this forum may also feel free to copy it and make a new article on this site using it. Anyone can click on the link to read it.
Blessings!
Joel and Kathy
Authors: The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!
Thank you, Joel and Kathy. That is a great article!
I have your books and I love them!
The Lord has blessed you with much revelation.
(Curious readers may download a generous excerpt of Joel and Kathy’s book here:
http://www.godsavemymarriage.com/)
Hi Charis,
I loved reading your studies about help-meet & home keeping, excellent! Its great to come across a fellow-digger!
I’d like to share this website with you if you don’t already know about it – its fantastic for digging in the Hebrew, there are lots of gems waiting to be found: http://www.ancient-hebrew.org There are some incredible word studies on here, it really goes to show that the English translations are way off the mark.
Keep digging!
Lindsey
how do you be a helpmeet to a husband thatborders the word helpmeet between wife and slave.as long as i do as he likes our marriage is fine in his eyes but if i have a difference of opinion im annoying him.my opinion is not needed or warranted unless he feels it is.if hes having a good day we are but if hes not then its hell on two feet.its up and down thru out the day.i love him just dont undrerstand him.i want to be his helpmeet but alot of times im just a worker and being his wife is an occuption. taking a firm but reasonable stance with him doesnt help he just ignores what i have to say
Can a wife be a help to a husband with whom she competes for control over the marriage? Of course, control should be shared and the mutual result, but where there is envying and the jockeying for the head position given to the husband, how then can the wife undergird him? Is she a “help” when she is trying to be the “head”?
Why is it that to suggest a wife be a “help” meet (or fit) for him, she is often paralleled to a slave? Is there no Christian honor in being a servant (or as the KJV often uses the word, slave)? I am not talking about forced labor, but I am talking about self-sacrificial labor for the betterment and uplifting of the husband and marriage. Why would there be dishonor in this?
ino
“meet” means equal, comparable
and God’s point was to provide man with an equal companion, not a servant or even “man’s best friend” or God could have stopped after HE created the monkey and the dog. Monkeys and dogs can be trained to serve and dogs are renowned as “man’s best friend”
Having been married for nearly 28 years to a man who has done nearly everything that can be marriage killing (addictions, adultery, etc) despite having a seminary degree and various responsible positions in “the church”, I testify that being EZER KENEGDO involves opposing him when he is in sin, and doing so very strongly, often with raging and intense emotion, and sometimes even with legal teeth. (see esp the last paragraph of the article at the link)
A monkey or dog would be useless for that.
I am a husband of a wife that has competed for the headship all of a our 17 years of marraige. Our first 5 she became bitter (3 months into) because the things she gave up. She would not give me her heart, and anything I did was not worthy of winning her heart. She used sex as a reward and punishment. After years with the Word, ministry, myself testifying this was going to lead me into anothers arm, it unfortunately happened.
I had to get drunk to do this however (I rarely drank, started because I was running from the pain of not having an “Ezer”). I fell into a beautiful womans arms, as she was extremely nurturing, kind, and erotic. I was trapped, but after just a short time ran hard the other direction, to my wife and young child, feeling like a huge failure, yet still knowing the rejection.
Everything was my fault, my wife, even to this day, says she has done nothing wrong See her blog at riseupmylove.wordpress.com and you will see she believes she is one of the two witnesses, that the whole world has to hear her voice. She is to sing the “new song” to give birth to the 144,000. She is God’s chosen vessel.
Yet, she figths my place as a man in the house, because her higher revelation and vision mentioned, and set up a trap (lie) to have me arrested on trumped up Domestic Violence charges. Trying to ruin everything, and trying to steal away the right for me to see my beautiful girls whom have never had anything but a Biblical hand from me on their lives. Although from my wife (the Bride of Christ of all the Bride, the Beloved that is more beloved than all others…the Shulamite) has for 5 years told the children that their dad is a sh*t, a**h*le, jerk, and other choice names. I ask and pray with the children for mommy. She has been telling them I am coming to kill them (keep in mind I never touched them incorrectly in 13 and 10 years), to build fear. The legal system found no reason that should keep me from the children.
She would not submit to the Lord, myself, the ministry (1Cor 6), the Word (Cor 7, tutus 2).
Ironically, I would be happy to be any doormat that would bring honor to my Husband (Christ), and perhaps this is a part of doing that. He is so wonderful, and has cleaned most my life. I now am working on negative thoughts, and kicking the devil in the teeth.
For someone I will be a wonderful husband, though failed in the past, through God will be most kind and gentle, giving ample benevolence, and trusting He will supply the same through a wife that desires (Teshuwqah Gen 3:16) her husband. As we are to desire Christ. What would a real believer not do for our King if we ‘heard’His voice request? We say “all” or “anything”, but the Word is clear we are to love each other as He loved each of us…
Best wishes to the husbands and wives, start to love unconditionally, lay your lives down for each other, according to the roles GOD gave, not your reasoning of what He gave.
Shalom
S
S,
I will go visit her blog.
Thank you for the link.
I’m really not sure what to say to a man who wants to be the head and leader, but has no control over his little head to the point where he goes out and commits adultery with another woman (for whom he has nothing but praise) and blames his wife.
So, are you “Stephen” of whom she speaks here?
http://riseupmylove.wordpress.com/we-stephen-shushan-lost-our-glory-our-coat-of-many-colors/
There’s nothing on there about your adultery, nor your separation (divorce?), domestic violence accusation, custody battle, etc, etc, etc…
S-
Please feel free to read my posts on this site here…
http://hupotasso.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/abuse-as-an-addiction-by-pat-gundry/#comment-4707
All the things I mentioned occurred while my husband was trying to be head of the household, attending church, even being paid to lead worship. He would be insisting on my physical submission while emotionally abusing me. It does not work that way.
He accused me of not letting him lead us….like when we have $300 in the bank and $500 in pending bills (water, electricity, you know the important stuff) I would not agree to insuring a motorcycle at that time. So I agree, I did not let him lead us…into disaster.
As for your adultery… You did that due to your lack of self control. Sure if wife gave in and satisfied you, maybe you would not have done it, but the idea was still in your mind and you entertained it to the point of following through. You had control over that choice and if it got SO difficult, you always had God.
I am sorry for you and your family.
S, and to others,
I’m going to have to Radically do something different here, and as you KNOW I am a very Outspoken Feminist,
HOWEVER, I have to take Issue with the whole ‘if a man commits adultery [or a woman] it’s ONLY a matter of lack of self control. I beg to differ on this,
because I’ve been on BOTH sides of this coin, as the victim of abuse, sexually exploited AND as the ‘adulterous wife’ of a man who Refused to have anything to do with me, other than an occasional release [his], a maid and of course, his Green Card. The marriage was a FRAUD, from the start, he wasn’t even divorced a DAY from a woman from his home nation [England] when we married,
I, young and stupid, low self esteem from the years of whoredom/child abuse/sexual abuse, was ripe for the predator. Seven years of rejection, both intimately, emotionally, physically, the ONLY reason we had a child, I had to Threaten him, with an affair, 7 years, no birth control, I got pregnant, ONCE, we didn’t even sleep in the same bed. HE was quite content with his concubine/maid arrangement, I wasn’t, I wanted more out of marriage, and after years of prayer, lack of support in the church [though they adored him, even IF he would scoff at God and at the worship], one night I met a man, another predator, we became friends. Yes, night, I would drive around in the evenings [small town] bored out of my mind, not Once did my husband care,
he GOT what he wanted, a Green Card, he was illegal when I met him, he sold me some sad sob story, stupid me, bought it. Anyway…after 7 years of THROWING MYSELF AT HIM, though I wasn’t really IN LOVE with him, I married him to ‘obey God’ because we had slept together after I was celibate [first time in my life] after becoming Christian, praying for a husband because the churches didn’t want a single woman, the women said, I was a threat, might STEAL their husbands, oh yea, good ole Fundie ain’t it great–so I prayed for a husband to be Approved by God, met one, he I thought, in a small town of truckers and dirty old men, would be it–but no, he wanted bigger things, blondes, and Palm Springs, he left, broke my heart–his brother, was there, to console, my then to be, husband,
anyway, so later, after 7 years of that mess, I meet this man, already shattered, forget faith, it was Gone, after hearing so much misogyny in the mensianity cult I was in, this ex-con of a man, who KNEW, I suppose I had, ‘I’m desperate’ stamped on my forehead, knew the right things to say, wouldn’t be long, and I left my husband for him. Funny thing is, my husband I’m pretty sure knew but even then, he didn’t seem to give a damn,
now, after a youthful life of always having to fight men off, here is this husband, whom I might as well have married a dead man…I now think he was doing prostitutes OR was, strong possibility, gay, I know his twin brother was gay. Anyway,
this con man who was way younger, closer to my age, knew the right things to say–I wasn’t Looking to just have an affair, I really wanted a marriage, one that was about Love, not about economic exchange or green card exchange, what have you. It wasn’t until After I told my husband, I am leaving you, and he said why, and THEN, THEN, AFTER 7 YEARS, AFTER 7 YEARS OF HIM LAUGHING AT ME WHEN I WOULD BEG HIM, AFTER I WOULD DRESS UP AND HE WOULD RATHER WATCH VANNA WHITE ON WHEEL OF FORTUNE, AFTER HE WOULD RATHER DO ANYTHING BUT WORK ON OUR MARRIAGE, THEN, THEN,
HE WANTED COUNSELING….I HAD GONE TO COUNSELING FOR FIVE YEARS OFF AND ON, BY MYSELF. I DID EVERYTHING, BY MYSELF…
after That, THEN, he wanted to work on it–but it was too late, I had given my broken self, to this other predator jerk–I never slept with my husband [at that time] after the affair, couldn’t, I KNEW it was over, I KNEW the first time this other man kissed me like he wanted me–I stayed with this other man, who Was EXTREMELY PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE,
FOR TWO YEARS. [HE WENT TO PRISON] I would have done Anything, for this man, no matter how horrid, because the First time in my LIFE, not my parents, not my first husband [a man who took me in after I ran away from the abuse at home at 16 who was a drunk/liked to beat/kick for fun], here was a man who got jealous, who wanted me, who said no one would love me like he did…yea he was dark, yea it was BDSM, but for me, I belonged, to Someone, I mattered, even if, it was dark.
SAD, yea I know, that’s what abuse/sexual abuse does to a woman/child but anyway…
after two years of extreme abuse, rape, nine and a half weeks insanity with this ex con–living in poverty, on the streets, with his meth addiction, and I walked away from my ex’s middle class house, car, I could have cared Less about the material things, they were ALL HIS ANYWAY, HIS HOUSE, HIS CAR, HIS BANK, HIS LIFE, the ONLY attention I got, was ‘did you clean such and such’ and then talking At me, usually griping about some man at work…hell I didn’t even have to Be there, not even in bed, in fact, that was 20 years ago,
you know, I can’t even remember the sex in that marriage, SAD. In fact, there WAS no sex on the honeymoon, he said, ‘romance is immature, time we get to more adult things’ I’ll never forget that–the man didn’t Love me, he Used my stupid dumb young low worth ass to manipulate me into a marriage so he wouldn’t get his illegal ass DEPORTED,
worse, he got my daughter, became his real religion, Jehovah Witness, and married his third wife, a woman, an illegal, from Columbia, another Jehovah Witness…yea, NICE.
My life, was ruined, it took Years, two more kids out of wedlock, after the ex con went Back to prison [after nearly killing me] to get something of a Shred of self esteem–that’s where Feminism, believe it or not, SAVED MY ASS, MY LIFE, it really did,
because the years of submission garbage, brainwashed me to be a person [on top of the child abuse/sexual abuse] to say YES to just about Anyone…if they were nice, Be nice, be kind, sweet, demure, like, Gee, I was trained to be the perfect whore,
anyway, I have, because of my life of whoredom/concubine/sex industry-working around it, have seen it work Both ways,
you know bottom line, is the Lies, I would say half of relationships are nothing more than Rape by Fraud anyway, why I no longer esteem marriage as THE platform for purity, surely not Love [it happens but it's a rarity and an oxymoron in patriarchy], etc.
The other issue, is just this unrealistic expectation that if married, then God blesses, I think that’s bunk…I don’t believe that’s true. To me, honestly it’s no different in so many ways for the Women anyway, than prostitution, and I would KNOW,
I do know, it’s economics, child rearing, sex exchange, at least where men see it. Relationship, yea, whatever…for Some, yes, it’s about that–THOSE ARE RARE, VERY, VERY, VERY RARE.
But, now, Does this mean, it Justifies Adultery? NO, and let me say, adultery backfires, I should have just LEFT the asshole, rather than Wait around, 7 damn wasted years of my Youth that I can NEVER, GET BACK,
and gone….and stayed single, something, other than for RELIGION, try to make a DEAD PROSTITUTION/FRAUD ARRANGEMENT WORK, when it was a failure doomed to begin with–because BOTH the marriage and the adultery, were set up by Satan,
S, you may Think you fell into a woman’s arms, WRONG, you didn’t Fall, just like I didn’t fall–the Enemy knows how to work things, just to ensnare us. I do believe, there ARE cases, where there is Deliberate cruelty and neglect on a part of a partner that is done to DRIVE the other into the arms of another,
because I did come to find out, I DID, EXACTLY WHAT MY HUSBAND WANTED ME TO DO–HE DIDN’T HAVE, THE BALLS, TO INJURE ‘HIS EGO REPUTATION’ AND GET A DIVORCE AND SHOW THE SMALL TOWN THAT HE ‘USED A DUMB NAIVE GIRL’ SO HE PUSHED HER WAY, KNOWING ONE DAY, SHE WOULD RUN TO ANOTHER–THEN, HE GOT TO COME OUT, LOOKING LIKE THE HERO,
and I, the no good white trash whore.
HE got to keep the house, car, money, my daughter [whom he had barely nothing to do with While married, but then After, oh THEN he was the good Father, of course, didn't take him long to dump her on a strange woman] but anyway…
it was all set up. HE couldn’t divorce me without risking his Green Card, oh yea…
see, what Appears isn’t always the case. There ARE people out there, men OR women, who KNOW how to play like the nicest Christians out there who are the most abusive lying pieces of crap to their spouses, and then THEY play the Victim,
I’ve seen it, and Don’t think, women don’t do this, they Do. Nothing justifies Adultery…I regret it, in fact, it was the DUMBEST THING, I EVER DID…ALL IT DID WAS GIVE MY ASSHOLE HUSBAND AMMO TO USE,
and years I hated ALL men [and well, still kind of do], I’ve seen too many liars and players and manipulators and you know it’s all the same b.s. People are either legit or they are not–this is why, I prefer the sinners to the Christians, at least I KNOW where I stand with them…and I’m not ‘good’ anyway, so, and I SUCK as a Christian,
but at least NOW, I can be honest, really honest. I really think this whole ‘oh you committed adultery you have no self control’ to that I say,
bullshit…
neither do you…right circumstances, right person, you be there,
you see it’s Really Easy to judge others, now This doesn’t mean, I go for the whole, oh it’s the Wife’s fault for not being the prima donna whore of penthouse for Christian hubby, oh no, that’s total b.s. too, the boys club playing the boys penchant because they really have NO RESPECT FOR ANY WOMAN, period,
so yea, I can see that,
on the Other hand, MARRIAGE TAKES TWO,
look, if it ain’t working,
LEAVE.
it’s That simple,
if one is putting UP with years of abuse and then, Oh my gosh, the husband is screwing around, well Duh, what do you think, if he treats you like shit, he probably WILL screw around, I’m not so sure my ex husband DIDN’T screw around.
The Problem is Knowing the marriage Sucks yet Expecting these Miracles of Faithfulness to happen–Look it don’t happen like that,
IF you are sticking it out, to Obey God, well, know nine out of ten, if he OR she is an abusive ass, they probably gonna screw around on you too, OR if you abuse, you can be Pushing the other INTO an affair, sometimes it works that way too but often times, that other person, doesn’t really want you Anyway…
the AFFAIR isn’t the Root of the Problem is what I am saying,
the Sex or Lack of isn’t the Root of the Problem,
the Lack of Love is the root of the problem, the trying to Keep a loveless marriage together is the root of the problem, the trying to Force a woman [sometimes a man] into someone Else to meet some Fantasy is the root of the problem,
and to Do all of the above, to Meet some Unrealistic Religious Expectation of a marriage made in Heaven,
is the Root of All Roots of the problem.
All the other, just follows……
marriage is a Crock, under Patriarchy, it’s a bold face LIE. It’s just a License, for men, to OWN a sex object, without GUILT.
That is all it is….
under Patriarchy. Some get Lucky, and find Love,
the other 90%, are playing the ‘oh we’re pure because we screw with that piece of paper–usually at the expense of the woman dying to her own humanity’…
no different than prostitution–just less men/Johns to serve.
When, patriarchy is ended, when Women are human beings and not just orifices and receptacles for men’s sperm, when Two people can Love the other Human, rather than Role–THEN,
THEN, marriages Might be about love.
I find it amazing, that in Heaven, in Revelations, the First thing it says, THERE WILL BE NO MARRIAGE,
gee, why is that? Maybe because, Marriage, for most, is nothing more, than Bondage, Esp for women,
this is One area, I really believe, Marx was right on…the Puritan ideal for marriage, is Hypocrisy, it’s pure unadulterated bunk, it’s an Institution, for MEN by MEN, legal license sex slavery,
nothing more.
Proof of this–in religious societies, under the most extreme patriarchy, prostitution, esp of little girls, is the Highest than in non-patriarchal leaning nations–FACT. The two, are one in the same…
In solidarity,
Jane
Oh, one more thing, my ex husband [the Brit] KNEW about my past/life, he would love to throw up my mother in my face–the abuse was another thing, that Amused him, he would Laugh about it,
he liked to Laugh at others, he worked in Africa for 7 years, liked to laugh about the dumb poor there too, a Typical British Imperialist SNOB,
then, I would become conscious of this fact later but at twenty I was naive, green and very dumb of world affairs, but I never knew why his mother had Such a contempt for me when she learned my maiden name–which was Irish,
oh yea, so HE got brownie points for setting up the dumb dog Irish girl too, oh yea, Big Joke for him,
I heard hours upon hours of the low scum IRA [Irish Republican Army],
funny thing is, twenty years later, I support Irish Solidarity AND Northern Ireland,
I would love to See that imperialist snob asshole now, give him a piece of my mind,
and I would not be surprised, being that he lied to my daughter and told her I was dead–that he also told her,
she was full blood Brit.
well, one day, I hope she finds out, she’s half Irish–
one day, I hope, his sorry ass, is exposed. Funny thing is, the church fundies, [though he laughed at them All the time] protected him,
yep, it’s amazing, what you see, through the eyes of a whore/concubine–[it's my new blog series I"m working on and Oddly, it's quite Freeing, to come out and tell all]
no wonder, they don’t like us to talk much, no wonder.
Jane
You finally got there – the true meaning of the word(s) “help meet” – not “help meet” at all, but rather “one of same likeness” – “one face-to-face.” This passage is not talking about submission at all.
Originally, when this passage was first spoken, there was no submission needed in the relationship – as long as they obeyed God – all was face-to-face. Then sin entered and everything changed.
Submission is because of sin. The more a couple is individually submitted in Jesus, the less this is an issue. As long as someone needs to dominate (in any way) the more the will of the Lord is still not submitted to – by someone – and usually both.
In regards to my two above posts,
working on the series on my blog has opened up a lot of hidden things that if I sounded harsh on here, I apologize if they offended, words that is…I do not want to offend, however, I have learned, in this life to not offend is impossible. But it is no longer my goal to offend or cut,
to turn over rocks and find truth, yes, to Debunk lies and myths, Yes, for my own sanity.
I do not oppose marriage, I oppose the institution and Lie of marriage, that man via religion has made of it. Though I do understand, due to the fallen nature, why God put up the boundaries He so did, though I won’t get into what I believe on this, anyway…
IF, there is no friendship, between two then in My opinion it’s not a marriage. And if that be the case, it really is just a prostitution arrangement with a piece of paper. Evidence of this FACT is that in Iran,
they have what they call Temporary Marriages, a man can rape [and they do], and a man can hook up for an hour, and have a paper signed, wow, it’s a then religious marriage,
then, when they are done, they divorce.
Well, a piece of paper via the State does not a marriage make, nor a piece of paper via the church, the clergy in Iran, sanction these temp marriages…under their version of patriarchal ‘holiness’.
It means nothing,
it, like numerous other ‘religious’ lies is just a Mirage,
I DO agree with Marx, on his analysis of marriage, however, I did want to add, my opinion is that the ONLY reason God bordered-framed marriage the way He did was for the Sake of the
CHILDREN,
BECAUSE most don’t claim/or nuture their children in a Patriarchal culture [tribal or nuclear] so,
they sure as hell won’t, in an open society that Marx and Engels so esteemed [and their's was based on limited studies of egal cultures].
Malachi confirms this…
the fruit, of the harms and neglect of children, the abuse of children, in today’s Patriarchal culture,
to me, say one thing,
it’s all, like in Iran, one big religious crock lie. It’s no wonder then, that there Are the adulteries and the abuses, if the community, the village does not care for their Children,
and the male centrics don’t
marriage, is then, nothing more than a Mirage, a paper, to dress up, like a False Wedding Garment,
one big fat lie.
May we one day, be Free from it.
In the meantime, it feels So Good, to be leaving more and more, Mensianity, Churchianity,
and well,
think this song, sums it up well.
Love,
Jane
This more a Question. I believe a wife is to be the keeper of the home. But my husband wants me to be with him all day mowing yards. So I am not the keeper of my home. Am I sinning ?
Your “keeper” responsibility is not about domestic servitude whether it be in the yard or in the house. Being a “keeper” means protector, guard.
See: http://hupotasso.wordpress.com/titus-2/keepers/
I just really wanted you to know how much I appreciate this blog. From many other accounts of what being a helpmeet is like, I’ve had the notion for years that it was to be a slave to the wills of a tyrannical husband, fawning over him and bearing child after child even through dangerous and potentially deadly pregnancies. My experience with men is such that I believe this is fairly common.
Yours is the first account of marriage I’ve read that really explains what being a helpmeet to a husband is; and I have got to say that misinformation really does do a world of harm with this subject. I’m so very curious as to why your experience seems to be in the minority and I can only conclude that it’s from the effects of multiple things but especially the deteriorating family/Christian values throughout the western world which is so unfortunate.
Your voice here is like seeing a pinprick of light at the end of a very dark hallway. I was having an enormous crisis of faith and was almost too far gone to even feel God and then I somehow came here. Thanks for helping me back on my path to God.
Thank you, Catherine. I’m so glad the blog helped on your pathway to freedom (which IS what God wants for you, no matter WHAT they try to tell you!).