Suzanne Hinn has filed for divorce from Benny Hinn. HT madame on Is Buddhist Tiger more Christian than the christians?
Dear Suzanne,
Just thought I would publish this so you know that not everyone is throwing stones at you.
I read his letter (link)
He judges you:
“My wife has no biblical grounds for what she has done.” [filed for divorce]
and he mentions repeatedly in the letter that you have not been unfaithful to each other, that there has never been any straying…
I’ll take his word on that.
soooo, reading between the lines: he believes adultery is the ONLY “biblical grounds for divorce”, which is a lie keeping many women trapped in “marriages” that are hell on earth
more reading between the lines: repeated mentions of being so “taken by surprise” makes me think he is very out of touch with your feelings. Was there much in the way of emotional intimacy/connection in your marriage? Or were you a ministry “widow”, neglected in favor or adoring “fans”?
Emotional neglect IS biblical grounds for divorce. see David Instone-Brewer (link)
It seems to me that when you don’t have your family in order you are to step down. He needs to deal with that first. It shows from his letter that his priorities are not in order, and could be why the divorce happened in the first place.
I mean if the man was totally clueless? That SHOULD send a red flag for sure!
I hope she finds peace.
I was feeling very cynical about “the church” in general due to these types of problems, and the contrast of the typical “preacher” reaction with the public face of repentance demonstrated by Tiger Woods. A good friend of mine is really into Rick Joyner’s ministry and Rick Joyner has put the IMO very freshly adulterous and unrepentant Todd Bentley back into the pulpit. I feel so grieved that people are so unbelievably lacking in discernment. I feel very sad for the wives and the children left behind in the dust. I assume that if Joyner’s ministry had any WOMEN in leadership, Todd Bentley would NOT be back in a pulpit.
My husband actually had some good input on it. He said that men like this rise to stardom because something in their health and wealth prosperity message is appealing to the flesh of the hearers, and the fawning of their followers feed their flesh/ego in return.
Houses/ministries built on sand are bound to crumble
Charis,
I, too, suspected there was much that wasn’t being said, that Suzanne has good reason for divorcing.
I even suspect there is abuse. His protests are the very same I have heard from another abusive husband. It’s all about the husband has the authority to do whatever he wants, except be intimate with another woman, and the wife must stay with him and be pummeled by him, either emotionally, spiritually, physically, or both.
There is a lack of humility, a lack of asking if there is anything he could do to win her back. Instead, it’s all about him, all about looking good to his adoring fans. Sadly, most of them will “buy it.”
You know, I think that while I agree with you, Waneta, about the tone of the letter insofar as it takes no personal responsibility and it lacking a tone of humility, that I’m wary of commenting because I don’t know what happened or what the personal complications were. In fact I believe that in cases like this people need to be ready to take the Sermon on the Mount’s observations about judgement to heart. On the links that were associated with Charis’ post I noticed that there was a lot of judgement being flung out with a lack of information to back it up.
Sorry, just to add this: I think that there have, yes, been a lot of unfairly judgmental things said about Suzanne Hinn.
I just KNOW that if she was nourished, cherished, understood, respected as a fellow heir, listened to, honored, and preferred above all others that she would NOT have filed for divorce. And I just KNOW that despite his letter judging her and laying it all at her feet and drawing upon the children as his “allies”, that this divorce is NOT her fault. After 30 years, she’s had it up to her eyeballs and is just seeking a judge’s rubber stamp for a divorce/”putting away”/ failure to cleave which has probably characterized their marriage for a very long time.
Despite my continued STRONG disagreement with Joel over his “daily sex” teachings and what I perceive as his ongoing unresolved egotism and the related “control issues” with his “followers”, I visited the thread on his board about the Hinn’s and I think the comments are quite discerning. see Benny Hinn’s Wife Files for Divorce
There is an opinion within christianity that a pre-nuptial agreement is like a get out of jail free card. In other words, if you have it in mind that divorce is a possibility you will not work as hard at making the marriage good–you will be predisposed toward giving up. It is believed that if you have to stay for the long haul you will do your very best.
This is interesting, because it seems that with everything else in life that the opposite is true. For example you can’t say that of a career, a job, a hobby, a romantic courtship, learning a skill or craft. If you learn to drive, you must continue to take the skill seriously or it could cause you serious problems. The very fact that a driver’s license can be up for reexamination and further testing is designed to make people take driving more seriously.
Why then are two of the most important activities we do taken for granted? Some might say that the long haul perspective is not taking it for granted, but I beg to differ. The amount of divorces taking place since the social stigma in North American and much of European society has become more permissive is startling, to be sure, but it should be revealing about the nature of the institution itself as well as of human nature. People tend not to work hard at things that they do not love and do not see the necessity of; it is that simple.
The real concern I have with all this is that marriage is used as a parallel for our love of God. Jesus is referred to as a bridegroom. It is said that if we love Jesus we will follow his commandments. It is unfortunate then that we often liken love to duty. It is unfortunate that love is not thought to be enough, or that as some modern preachers say ‘love is a verb’.
And yet what we see throughout the Bible is a passionate heroic pursuit of God’s love–from God and for God–involving the people remembered there. And in every case there is a need for God’s purposes and love to be real–not be ephemeral promises of a vague hereafter, but of real things happening in our real lives. Think of these moments:
Gideon is terrified of what God might want of him. He desperately needs to know it is really God he is talking to–for if it is he can trust him no matter how scared he is.
Abraham is told to uproot his entire life–which he does because of the extraordinary promises of God, but questions, is afraid, doubts, until finally all the doubt and fear is wiped out in a moment of truly desperate trust. Because God was with him constantly.
Sarah laughs at the promise of God, and finds it hard to believe what she is offered. God encourages her to believe.
Joshua falls to his knees in despair, crying out to God to answer him about his failure.
Job desperately needs a response from God for the woe that his life has become.
I look at these examples and see no mere duty. What I see is that either God must be good and powerful or else God is not good enough. None of us who follow Christ do so because we’re given some homilies or told that we ought to; we do it because we believe in Jesus’ goodness and authority and power. Where we find it hard to believe we must seek it.
So you see I think that either way–the get out of jail free card or the ‘divorce is not a solution’ position fail to see that the real way is to be crying out to God about whatever it is we are struggling with. I have heard preaching to the effect that the danger of that is in believing that God might tell a person to get divorced, which would be a lie because God would never do that. I think that the danger there lies in trying to control people rather than to try to encourage them to trust God.
So I think that when it comes to this letter that was published that in a way it reveals that christianity (generally) does no better than Hollywood–just takes things in a different direction. After all the divorce stats are the same.
Rob,
I really loathe the evangelical fondness for proclaiming that “love is not a feeling”. Its another Christian myth, a LIE!
Love FEELS good!
Just read the Psalms of David, the “man after God’s own heart”; the Psalms are drenched with feeling everywhere I look- all kinds of feeling! The reason he could be a man after God’s own HEART is because he had a heart, he felt.
I think men who can be so routinely callous toward their wives are heartless and need to pray for a HEART transplant. Out with the stone cold heart, the selfishness, pride, egotism. In with the HEART of JESUS
Charis,
That’s absolutely true. Think of this: it is true that you put little feelings aside for big ones, right? So for example you might be disgusted by the vomit coming out of one of your children, you might hate having to get up with them three, four times in the same night knowing you have to be up at 6 am but you overcome your discomfort, weariness and disgust because you love them.
This is not the same as denying your feeling when your feeling tells you that you distrust, that you feel loathing and despair. Are we to deny evil and pretend it is good?
What annoys me so much about the evangelical lie you cited is that it denies the very basis for our believing in Christ in the first place! I mean, honestly, don’t we get moved by Jesus’ compassion, power, authority, goodness, mercy, provision, miraculous giving of life? Jesus never proclaims that his main purpose is to keep us from going to hell, but rather to bring us life! We follow Jesus because we LOVE him! That’s the invitation, the love of God that Jesus embodies!
So to deny our hearts denies the heart of why we bother to be christians in the first place.
I love that you brought up David. David was far from perfect; people like David and Abraham made big mistakes, and yet they truly longed to trust God, they truly spent time with God, talked to God, believed in God. I don’t think that the kind of people you are talking about really believe. As Jesus says, if they believed in the Father they would know Christ.
Off subject here, not going to comment on Hinn, lets just say, Gee, are we really Surprised???????
shrugs shoulders/rolls eyes
on Fundamentalism–religious, some Shocking FACTS from human right activists/women, from all OVER THE WORLD,
on not just Islamic Fundamentalism but the Christian influence, Pentecostals and Charismatics, in Africa, South America, Asia,
you might be shocked, and I hope, APPALLED,
the support of Polygamy [Africa/among Christians], the support of FGMs, the support of Domestic Violence SANCTIONED BY LAW/Christians/Africa, the support of female suicide/India, etc etc etc
the 70% of Violent Attacks on
HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVISTS/
WOMEN
around the GLOBE, are reported to be supported AND done by,
religious fundamentalists, Jewish and Christian a huge part of–
this report compiled by NUMEROUS WOMEN, HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVISTS, AROUND THE WORLD, who have been fighting fundamentalists–for the BASIC, of Human Rights, for Women and Girls,
Religious Fundamentalists AND the Political Pull/Power AGENDAs they have–all thriving on control over Women, esp sexuality,
AND economics–they feed the poor [they actually Manipulate the poor, Christians included, in many countries] BUT REFUSE, TO ADDRESS THE CAUSES OF POVERTY,
the reports of Australia, for example, of MEGA CHURCHES who support MEN WHO DIVORCE/REMARRY THREE TIMES/PASTORS, ETC.,
yet who Work, politically, to END assistance to Women so that they CAN’T LEAVE ABUSIVE MARRIAGES,
this report, takes about twenty minutes to read–more if you read thoroughly,
I Strongly SUGGEST–IF YOU CARE, ABOUT CONFRONTING THE ABUSES, OF WOMEN/CHILDREN WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY AND THE RISE OF IN THIS COUNTRY
you need to READ this,
what I found to be the most heart breaking was the SIMILARITIES, between Christians and Muslims/Extreme Hindus and even Buddhists,
and their oppressive politically supported policies, against Women.
It’s shocking–and it is enough, to make Any ‘thinking’ woman, ask
why the Hell, do I support religious fundamentalism?
And the ‘myths’ of what really IS religious fundamentalism, is JUST as if not More so,
Shocking.
http://homesewersneedleworkersunion-hsnwu.blogspot.com/2010/03/ten-myths-about-religious.html
READ the pdf file–at the bottom of the ten myths about religious fundamentalism
and make sure, you have a box of tissues near by,
You’ll need them.
Love,
Jane
I was giving this whole issue some more thought, taking into account Benny Hinn’s beliefs and the nature of his ministry.
In his defense (playing devil’s advocate here, just a little), he may honestly believe this is all an attack of the devil, and all he has to do is have faith and pray that God will heal his marriage.
He says he is praying for healing. That is what he does for a living. He prays for miraculous healings and commands problems to disappear (because all problems are bad spirits or demons).
In this case, BH would just be treating his marriage problems the same way he treats every other challenge: blaming Satan, calling the problem an “evil spirit of some sort”, praying for victory over it and for God’S miraculous healing, and, at some point, starting to declare the health of his marriage. If it doesn’t work, his wife and her lack of faith will be to blame. He did everything right.
I said I was playing devil’s advocate here. If he truly believes the above, he is a very confused man. If he is hiding behind this belief, he is in denial and very irresponsible.
Anyway, I thought I’d throw in one more option.
madame,
I generally agree with you. I was going to add something clever but I think that you are speaking very wisely.
I agree with denial for sure! Reports say they have been separated for months, and yet he has no clue what his martial issues are??
The fact he refuses to step back from his ministry shows THAT takes the front seat, and his family takes the back seat.
I saw no humbleness at all in his speech. That to me is very telling personally.
Sojournerscribe,
Thanks.
This song by Don Francisco sums up what God thinks about ministries that aren’t doing what He asked us to do.
http://songoffaith.com/mp3s/Albums/BeautifulToMe/BTM_SteepleSong_DonFrancisco.mp3
Good song madame!
We don’t war against flesh and blood–that is often used as a kind of excuse to either get all mystical or to not deal with things that are really happening.
I was given a sense of revelation today by the Holy Spirit, that war is not the same as a campaign, a battle, a skirmish. War is the ultimate goals, situation, circumstances of our very existence. But often we are in battle against the flesh, are we not? So a particular person can be the embodiment of that battle, but as Christ says, aiming over Peter’s shoulder, it is Satan that is the real Enemy. Why else do we need to struggle to love our enemies?
It seems to me that christians have struggled with this understanding of war in the spirit for such a long time, and I feel an enormous sense of freedom in this. I encourage all those of you, my sisters and brothers who come to this haven of Charis’ to take this and run with it, praise the Lord.
[...] that “there is no whiff of unfaithfulness on either side” sounds very much like Benny Hinn’s letter. I judge Piper’s response to marriage travail far better than Hinn’s: Though he [...]
Thank God the truth is coming out even in such a painful way as this. I should know, my wife left me and 3 kids after 16 years and I was just as responsible for it as she (and there where no cheating) and we are conservative Christians. Benny – time to pay buddy! Your bull sh-t is bringing in the harvest, Suzanne – tell the truth, save your soul from torment and set your family free from lies you all lived these years. God trully bless you in this most difficult time. My heart hurts for you and justice from God. ( which always comes!) I hope in time you will heal and restore your family but now it’s time to purge.
I am not convinced that Suzanne has the power to “restore the family” in this case. Reading between the lines, I think her husband chose his job/ministry over her and unless and until he gets rid of that idol, their marriage cannot be healthy.
What does the bible say about gossips? Do they happen to be better than others? Are we not all dust? As far as I am concerened, responsible people would rather pray than gossip, comfort and correct instead of criticise and mock. We are all vulnerable; what goes round comes round. The most responsible thing to do when even an enemy falls is to show love; perhaps that would be the moment of deliverance we were hoping for.
Do you want to judge? Beware of what you too might be served with very soon; life is full of surprises. That is why we humans in all our hopeless wanderings ( pilgrimage) on this earth need to walk with humility, mercy, love and hope and while we are about it, may we never judge others or mock at their calamity; by doing so we do the devils job for him and in the end, the pay shall come.
Beware. God is judge. Let us pray for the problems of this world, after all, we are supposed to be lights and salts.
God bless you.
My dear Fly,
So, was John a gossip, judge, critical, mocking, unloving when he wrote the critical words about Diotrephes which are in Scripture for all to read in every generation?
Is it “loving” to cover up, lie, and deny the truth?
Or, perhaps its dysfunctional? BTDT. Had to renounce the Sapphira spirit!