The rise of abuse in the last days is prophesied….

The rise of abuse in the last days is prophesied:

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 3:1-6

The abusers “have a form of godliness but deny its power” and their female victims are “always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth”. I was one of those gullible controlled women and I am here to testify that there is a pathway out of that painful powerless place. I learned and learned, I listened to sermons, read books, heard advice…. but-like the women described- did not come to knowledge of the TRUTH. Instead I became more and more bound. The TRUTH shall set you FREE!

Let’s have a little test:

Please read the following quote and think about the question before you scroll down the page.

“every man should be ruler over his own household.”

That is a quote from the Bible. I’ll tell you where to find it in a moment.
But first, I would like you to think about what it is saying. Have you heard teaching from books, sermons, Christian radio that represents this model as God’s Will and Plan for a satisfying, God honoring, Biblical, Christian marriage?

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Did you think about the question?
OK, then click on the link to read the verse in context:

“every man should be ruler over his own household”

Now that you have read the verse in context, is it about Christian marriage? What sort of marriage is it about? From the world’s perspective WHO had all the authority, power, control and WHO had none? How about from God’s perspective? WHO was anointed, appointed, and empowered with spiritual authority “for such a time as this“? Do you see how worldly authority is trivial?  and how spiritual authority is powerful? so powerful, even the gates of hell will not prevail against it!   (Katharine Bushnell’s enlightening commentary on this account is available on the God’s Word to Women website- Click Here)

Much teaching out there on Christian marriage contributes to the potential for abuse and the high divorce rate among Christians. When I realized the error which I had heard and believed, I felt intensely betrayed I was very cynical about His representatives. But God never left nor betrayed me and He led me on a journey deep into Him and His Word. I brought my pain to Him with great intensity- often using the Psalms as a springboard for prayer; I “pounded on His chest” in prayer and He comforted me. Despite the opposition and judgment from those who do not live in my shoes and do not understand, I learned to listen for His still small voice and proceed with confidence where He leads.

One of the most significant lessons I learned is that “submission” is NOT the same thing as “obedience”. Walking in “obedience” was death to me. Walking in godly submission is LIFE!

When I believed that my husband was “in charge” of me and I attempted to walk in obedience to him, I was committing the sin of idolatry.
I was rendering lordship and masterhood to my husband instead of God.
I confused obedience and submission. I thought obedience to my husband = submission. So I obeyed my husband and in so doing
-sinned against God
-enabled husband’s sin
-lied to the Holy Spirit
-could NOT maintain an attitude of humble cooperation:
ie was unsubmissive despite my obedience, I was resentful and bitter.

Ultimately, in my attempt to “serve two masters” I came to despise my husband.

Lu 16:13 No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.

Reading Katharine Bushnell has confirmed what the Lord showed me and strengthened my resolve and sense of calling. Here are links to just a few of the many insights from Bushnell which have resonated with me:

Husband hooked on vices? Wife REPENT from your vicious self-effacement. Rise up and be help MEET!

entire independence of “other control”

I cried when I read this…

All Christendom has been morally crippled in its progress by the attempt to keep the female sex in bondage

MUST WOMEN OBEY?

I find that genuine submission “as unto the Lord” is incredibly freeing and powerful! Because I am looking to the LORD for my guidance and instructions, not to my husband. The Lord has entrusted me with gifts, talents, abilities, and responsibilities and HE has given me wisdom, a conscience, and HIS Holy Spirit as counselor. Allowing myself to be run like an appliance from the outside was an affront to the God who made me and gave me good gifts. Not only that, I really know far more about running the household than my husband does and his micromanagement wasted many many hours of my and my children’s time on less efficient routes.

Woman can never be matured as a useful instrument in God’s hands, or an efficient servant of His Church, until she comes to understand that “she is not her own; she is bought with a price,” and it is neither her duty nor her privilege to give herself away to any human being,¾in marriage or in any other way….There is no social redemption for woman until…she maintains the inviolability of free will, as her sustained attitude towards every human being, including her husband. There is no method of moral improvement remaining, after the loss of a free will” from Lesson 45

In giving myself away to be treated
in marriage
as a child or a slave (who MUST OBEY),
I gave up my free will,
and I remained immature.

Abigail in 1 Sam 25 is a submissive wife who disobeys.
Sapphira (Acts 5) is a wife who should have submissively told her husband “no” but instead goes along with him agreeing to “lie to the Holy Spirit”.