Note: My “home page” was formerly a static “Index Page”. Instead, this index post is “stuck” to the top of the blog. Readers are now able to scroll down to see my latest rambling.
Index to blog “Pages”
Where a page has sub-pages (the indented links), I suggest reading the main page first followed by the sub-pages. Enjoy!
I turn 50 tomorrow and I am too busy at the moment to reflect, and I liked HEvencense reflections here: Hooky & “The Big 5-0″ Happy Birthday Hevencense!
My only additional reflection would be a recurring meditation I have been having upon “the Year of Jubilee” in scripture. May we embrace Jubilee: a fresh start, freedom, security in our inheritance.
and scroll down to the interlinear translation (its the same as the title of this post)
I believe that is an honest translation which takes the God breathed Greek word at face value
Is it comfortable? Does it fit the tradition? Do we like it?
Maybe not. But I believe God has good reason for His instructions to wives, and I don’t believe it is merely a relic of a bygone era where wives were chattel. Its truth and timeless.
Bible translations are translations. The God breathed Word was originally given in Greek and Hebrew. As for the duty God imposes upon wives toward husbands in Eph 5:33, a look at the Greek is revealing.
Nevertheless __ let every one __ of you in particular “>so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that shereverence her husband Eph 5:33 KJV
The Greek word there isphobētai: she fear — 5399: to put to flight, to terrify, frighten — Verb – Present Middle Subjunctive – Third Person Singular
Every other place this phobeo verb and its conjugations are used in the AV and the NAS, the word is translated some form of “fear”, “to be afraid”, etc. ONLY when it comes to marriage is it suddenly rendered “reverence”. I don’t buy it; I suspect (male?) translator bias…
In the context of NT teaching, its paradoxical because Paul instructs husbands to agapatō (shall love — 25: to love — Verb – Present Active Imperative – Third Person Singular) and John explains that “perfectlovecastethoutfear”1 John 4:18
Saw the ad for daily Cialis.
I hope my husband doesn’t get any ideas!
My husband says he has experienced a transformation. He no longer thinks about sex constantly. Last night he compared his constant obsession with sex one year ago with how he is for the past two weeks. He has bragged that he “had quit internet porn” at that time, but the truth is: he wasn’t any better. He was worse. He had just gone completely underground with his sexual addiction, and secretly graduated to deeper more concrete forms of adultery accompanied by escalating neglect, disrespect, and abuse toward me and the children. One year ago, he was a strip club regular on the verge of commencing a 3 month adulterous affair with a woman 25 years his junior. Over the past few months, he has demonstrated some much needed consideration for us and today-and for the past two weeks- sex is out of his mind except in totally appropriate situations (my assessment).
Only, he seems to miss it and think something is”wrong” with him. He suggested that maybe he has eaten some poison which “damaged” him. He even deliberately chose to think of erotic images just to “make sure” that the plumbing still worked.
I say he has been delivered from a spirit of lust and if he invites it back, it will come back 7 times worse, and him attributing deliverance to “evil” is at the very least ungrateful (and could be blasphemy).
I hope he embraces the new man.
Did I already talk about the episode only about a month ago? He still spends several nights a week away overnight at the house we are renovating in the city. I can’t do that. When I go work there several days a week, I have to come home the same day and take care of the children in the evening.
I would feel much more secure if I knew that his little “head” is not constantly telling him what to do with him obeying its every whim!
About a month ago, a neighbor there- Peter- offered him Irish coffee in the am. Because one of my conditions is “NO drinking”, he (reluctantly) refused. He walked to the beach in the evening where a busty woman came on to him. He told me he realized something: if he had been drinking, he would not have resisted. (I didn’t say it to him, but “DUH”! Why does he think one of my conditions for not seeking divorce immediately is that the drinking STOPS? Just to be “mean and controlling”? NO! For him, there is a very long term repeated pattern: Drinking anesthetizes his conscience.)
I hope he embraces the new man!
Tomorrow is our 27th wedding anniversary. He said its among the top two most significant: 27 and 40. “How’s that? I thought 25 and 50 were considered the most significant?” He said its trinitarian because its 3 cubed, and that 40 is also a deeply significant biblical number. Interesting perspective…
This is for CNA work in a nursing home. I am seriously considering going back to school for an RN and this would give me some exposure to the hardest, lowest paid type of nursing work.
I am still in the pipeline at the school for substitute teaching and bus driving, but I have to follow through with fingerprinting and background check (which costs money under penny pinching conditions. Time has been tight too as we have been flat out working on the foreclosure house so we can get it rented out.)
Hubs put in his resume to his former place of work-they are advertising for help. Though I supported his submitting the resume, I am conflicted about it. It was a dark dark place for him spiritually/morally and I don’t trust him to say “NO” to darkness.
I firmly believed that God “clearly” said one thing, and, turns out, I was wrong. Not just an “oopsie” kind of wrong, but a, “Okay, my life is really screwed up now,” kind of wrong. But here’s the funky catch. If I say, in an approach born of failure and pain, that “I’m now holding my concept of truth with a loose grip,” it makes some people mad, others afraid, and still others, horrified. Which is why I only say this kind of stuff online, and not so much in real life.
Ditto what Molly said only I sometimes say it in real life. And ditto Molly’s perception of the pretzel logic supporting the faulty structure.
Aimai’s comment about relationship with God is insightful as well. Lately I have been pondering how much we complicate something which is very simple. Simple but not easy.
I am a child of God, an heir, and He offers me power.
Power for what? “power… to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge” Eph 3:18-19 (NIV)
or in NKJV: “be able to comprehend … the love of Christ which passes knowledge”
Its beyond knowledge or explanation.
Its experiential.
Ideally, marriage really should reflect such a love relationship experience. I’m afraid that what too often passes for “christian marriage” speaks volumes about missing the mark when it comes to relationship. Along that vein, Molly continues:
Because it’s all about the goal, right, which is to look cheerful and not divorce? It’s not about the actual journey, not about the process of learning how to have a relationship with a fellow heir of grace who is hitched to the same plow, not about learning to cooperate and hone skills of mutual respect and affection and learning when to set boundaries and say no and have self-respect and… Because, well, that just doesn’t sell books well, given that it’s really hard to do and stuff. Like I said, the whole thing is a pretzel that I once thought I could untwist and “fix,” but have since realized that it’s waaaay beyond any one person’s ability to unwind.
I’ve seen the advertising for the premiere for quite some time and I made a point to watch “The Good Wife” last night.
I enjoyed the show and intend to keep watching.
As I went to sleep, I thought of the maxim “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Its a maxim because there is truth to it, and a woman’s fury is not a “bad” thing in these situations. Its a necessary thing.
The discussion and revisiting some very insensitive “sex lectures” a controversial “marriage minister” posted on this blog really raised up all the pain of the adultery and betrayal again. I suppose that is good in the sense that it peeled off some more denial.
The naked truth is ugly.
I have been married for nearly 27 years, have been pregnant 11 times and born 8 children to my husband, and have always been faithful. At the end of last year, he had repeated sexual relations a woman young enough to be his daughter (25 years younger). This is a man who used to be a professor at a christian college with girls that age…
I got thinking what I would think of that if I heard these FACTS about another woman’s husband. I would be very angry at him and sorry for her and the children. That is the naked truth.
Sunday, when we were in the spirit filled church- the only place I can tolerate presently, they played a CD again for worship. He hates when they play CD’s instead of having a worship leader. He wanted to leave, suggested it right then and there, “can we go to the other church where I want to go?” I said, “NO. The first time I ever go to that church will be the time when you give your public testimony about porn use, strip clubs, adultery, etc” He gets to “pretend” over there, he is admired as such a spiritual giant with such wonderful children, and the burden of the contentious wife who dropped out of our wonderful church. Tsk, tsk…
At the spirit filled church, a woman I never met who had spent 5 minutes talking to my husband came up to me and mentioned in passing (in a very matter of fact, non-judgmental manner and without my saying a thing about the naked truth):
“your husband is not yet spirit-filled”.
No wonder he wants to get his tush out of that church and go back to the place where he can get away with NO accountability! The TRUTH HURTS!
Wanda, from my little support/bible study group said that I am my husband’s guilt. Though it is subconscious, at some level every time he sees me he feels guilty. She identified with that because she is her alcoholic dad’s guilt, and he lashes out at her in a hurtful manner, alternating with attempts to get sympathy for his poor poor condition… together with failure to take responsibility for his own behavior.
I see my hubby as still “on the fence” spiritually/morally but he did tell me yesterday that he sees how God took away his job because God wants to be intimate with him and the job was an obstacle. (I’d go so far as to call it an idol).
One of the ladies observed that he spoke the truth, that the whole truth is right on the tip of his tongue. But he still manages to turn it around and be angry at GOD- for the job loss, for a broken cassette tape, for whatever. God and me are made scapegoats. He needs to take responsibility for his own behavior and repent deeply. He’s still on the fence and could go either way. Only time will tell.
My copy of “People of the Lie: the hope for healing human evil” by M. Scott Peck is overdue and I need to return it to the library. But there are some passages which are so good, so thought provoking that I wanted to record them. I have put up three posts with excerpts on “Resources Collected During My Journey” and here is a powerfully insightful quote on submission from page 83:
There are only two states of being: submission to God and goodness or the refusal to submit to anything beyond one’s own will- which refusal automatically enslaves one to the forces of evil. We must ultimately belong to either God or the devil. This paradox was, of course expressed by Christ when he said “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it. And whosoever shall sole his life, for my sake, shall find it.”… As C. S. Lewis put it, “there is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second is claimed by God and counterclaimed by Satan.” I suppose the only true state of freedom is to stand exactly halfway between God and the devil, uncommitted either to goodness or to utter selfishness. But that freedom is to be torn apart. It is intolerable… we nmust choose. One enslavement or the other.
Bonnie has an excellent post which addresses wifely submission in response to John Piper’s definitions (and this is only part 1. I look forward to more posts on this topic from Bonnie). Here is a snippet:
John Holzmann, co-owner of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd. (a homeschool curriculum provider) has this to say of times when his wife spoke out against his immature behavior,
“It was a good and blessed thing that she did. –Talk about being my helpmeet? That was helpmeet/helpmate behavior. She helped (and every time she does that, she helps) me become the kind of thoughtful, considerate man I need to become if I am to fulfill the call of Christ in my life. I don’t know how to love my wife with the love of Christ . . . unless she talks to me about both my good and bad behavior.”
Piper’s definitions do not address the ways mature manhood or womanhood might respond in the face of un-worthy behavior on the part of members of the opposite sex. I assume he intends that a woman not affirm, receive, or nurture the leadership of unworthy men…
a participle is a verb form used as an adjective to modify nouns and pronouns. Participles can add vigor to our writing as they add information to our sentences.
Speaking to yourselves in
psalms and hymns and spiritual
songs, singing and making
melody in your heart to the
Lord; (19)
Giving thanks always for all
things unto God and the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ; (20)
Submitting yourselves one
to another in the fear of God. (21)
All of the red above are participles (source 1 and 2). The main verb (aka predicate) of the sentence is the phrase “be filled”. The participial phrases which follow (vs 19-21) modify the subject of the sentence “YE” (vs 18). (Without the “ye”, the participles would be “dangling participles”- a situation described near the bottom of this grammar lesson)
I’m sure I’ve seen this grammar analyzed before, but yesterday it clicked . Paul is describing what it looks like to “be FILLED with the Spirit”. Paul is not singling out wives for instruction in submission. Verse 22 does not even have a verb in the Greek. The verb is carried from verse 21 above. The teaching above is directed to “ye”. And “ye” is anyone- male or female- who desires to “BE FILLED with the Spirit”.
At the adultery of 1990, I avoided confronting the pain, the sin and it has been a wounded, hollow excuse for a marriage ever since- like this from the article:
If Bob and Susie follow the traditional Christian counseling approach to adultery, their marriage may survive and I hope it does. But survive is all it will do. It won’t thrive. It won’t be a great marriage. It will be a wounded marriage.
At the adultery of 2008, the anger and pain have spewed forth, I have insisted upon accountability and change, and I can feel that this is much healthier for me.
Today was the first day of school for the children.
After a summer of much much rain, we have a stretch of gorgeous clear blue skies predicted for an entire week!
Hubby is unemployed and was home today. Its helpful for us to spend some down time together. Its rare, altogether rare…
I don’t have any posts stewing in my mind… but I do have a long “to do” list of organizational things I want to get behind me (just in case we have to move for a new job). My files really need weeding and better organization. And Joey’s clothes need weeding since he has been growing so much. And hubby is anxious to finish the work on the foreclosure house so we can rent it out and he doesn’t do spackle and paint, so he wants me to spend some time up there working with him.
Here is a post which I found deep and thought provoking:
The Lord seems to keep placing various messages in my path about PAIN. My friend Chris read a passage out of a book she is reading. It was about how GOD gets our attention through PAIN, and she wondered about my handsome, weak husband whose had his cake and ate it too… if he is headed for a season of PAIN…
That doesn’t scare me.
But often I feel alone and overwhelmed, (like Grace of kingdom grace).
Alone humanly speaking anyway.
But I press in, and I feel HIS embrace…I remember one time telling God that if the only way to keep feeling HIM so close to me is PAIN, then bring it on because its worth it!
Another worthy blog to read is Mart DeHaan of Radio Bible Class. This quote from his most recent post struck me as ever so honest on Martin Luther’s part:
Luther admitted that until he discovered the forgiveness of God, he not only did not love God—but actually hated the One “who punishes sinners”.
Don’t worry about me if I am not posting much.
I’m OK, just busy.
Last night, we arrived back from our trip (a few days delayed due to car trouble). The delay allowed us to drop K off on the official “move-in” day and “park the car in the Harvard Yard”- which privilege requires a special pass only allowed freshmen on move-in day. She had planned to be dropped off early and attend a retreat, but the car trouble caused us to miss their departure. In the above photo, in the distance on the right, you can see a crowd gathered. They are congregating in front of the statue of John Harvard, third most photographed statue in the world (after the statue of liberty and another which I forget)
For several days, we visited our son in Portland where we swam in the hurricane Bill stirred ocean, and loved this picturesque park (which was FREE- so we went twice during our visit):
Our 6 nights in hotel/motels cost us nothing except hotel reward points which were accumulated over the past 2 years of hubby’s former job. We did not eat out at all the entire 7 days, but bought food in the grocery store. Daniel’s wife, Paige cooked for us during our days in Portland and she is a great cook! One meal, along with a great lasagna (which K had requested for her last meal with the family before college) we splurged on one large lobster to share (so the children could have the “experience”).
Peter admonishes the slave to submit to the master and following that admonishes wives to submit likewise.
Reading further we see that he admonishes husbands to dwell with them in understanding. It seems there is an authority designated to husbands that gives them a role akin to a master.
I suggest that looking at this passage in the King James Version (where the structure comes through more clearly click here for 1 Peter-KJV) .
Notice verse 1 – “likewise”->directed to wives
Notice verse 7- “likewise”-> directed to husbands
My take is that the “likewise” refers back up to the role model of Jesus whom both husband and wife are to emulate, not to a slave master relationship with only the wife exhorted “likewise”. I have posted some of what I see in the passage here.
For further reading and insight on this passage in 1 Peter, I recommend:
“as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror”
Since we are instructed to behave “as Sarah” I spent some time researching and collecting some resources about Sarah and how she was with Abraham into a series of posts which you can find here: http://2dig.wordpress.com/sarah/
“They” don’t get that Sarah was a strong woman. And Abraham LIKED that. That they were a team living in a patriarchal culture. That they watched out for one another. In that culture, Abraham could have had Sarah done away with, or put her away because she bore him no heir and hardly anyone would have blinked an eye. But he never did. He LOVED her in the truest sense. And she loved him back. That’s why she let him call her sister in two instances and handed over her maid so he could have an heir.
And, IMPO, one of the reasons God may have picked Abraham (besides being the ‘heir’ or eldest son of the eldest some back to Adam’) was because of this love and loyalty and faithfulness, from Abraham to Sarah, and from Sarah back to Abraham. It took a few years of waiting, on God’s part, for this couple to come up. Sarah was no shrew. She was strong. Sorry more people don’t GET that. Neither God nor Abraham are/were afraid of strong women. They LIKE them. They WANT them as friends and companions.
God still does. That’s why He’s working on us to grow us up as strong women, to fellowship with Him, to boldly enter the holy place – His presence. He just had to wait for us to stop listening to the lies of those who are afraid of strong women, those who are insecure and need to grow up themselves. Those liars need to stop preventing people from entering into the fullness of God and realize they need to enter themselves because of their own deep and severe lack.
Glad you had a good time.
Maybe you could write your own version of Sarah’s story.
(I also think “they” are harsh with Job’s wife. Sure she said something she shouldn’t have. But she knew Job. She lived with him. She wasn’t like his friends who could question his righteousness. She knew Job’s goodness. To her, it looked like the God of the universe turned on her husband, just as any second rate god among the pagans. In her eyes, not knowing of the devil, a God she believed to be righteous wasn’t anymore. And who can fight against a god? Might as well put an end to it. But Job knew there had to be more to the story, and that’s how we got the Book of Job. When God told Job to make sacrifices for his friends, his wife wasn’t mentioned among them. Possibly because she went through the fire with Job and understood with Job. NOT because she’s a woman and not worth the trouble.)
I’m going with some girlfriends to see “Sight and Sound” in Lancaster for a few days. New commenters are moderated, so- if you are new- you won’t see your comment until I return. Till then….
Dale Fincher wrote an intriguing blog about “People of the Lie” so I ordered a copy on interlibrary loan and its in- I need to go pick it up. I found the book on googlebooks, and I found this section(see pg 78) on malignant narcissism “characterized by an unsubmitted will” eye opening. (Sorry, madame, and anyone else who is unable to read from googlebooks )
The book talks about how a long term unsubmitted will leads to an escalation of evil.
Oddly enough, the pastor preached on submission Sunday. Said God had given him the message one hour before church. It was on submission to GOD
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7
So, I think I am a really good Town Clerk, very meticulous about the details, organized, etc. but what I do is very behind the scenes, and I am not a politician: campaigning, soliciting support, shaking hands, kissing babies, etc. I’m kind of shy, and a little geeky. The town has a caucus (and not a primary). I was not very familiar with most of the 40 or so people who were at the caucus. People verbally nominate a candidate. Several people were nominated for my position besides me. All of them declined except Dawn who was not present. So Dawn and I were the candidates for the run-off. Everyone writes down their choice on a little slip of paper. Dawn won the vote. I was rejected.
That hurt.
And it shocked me because it was so unexpected.
They had a lot of turnover and a hard time finding anyone who would take the job before a few neighbors got together and tricked me into attending my first caucus ever and railroaded me into the job.
Why?
Is it because…
…I am shy? they don’t know me?
…I didn’t clean the bathroom in Town Hall?
…I requested and received a 100% pay increase?
…I wasn’t authorized to sell hunting licenses last year?
…I don’t talk loud enough when I read the minutes?
…I was scared when a citizen threatened and stalked me by e-mail?
WHY?
I don’t know… and never will…
I believe it was God’s will: a therapeutic rejection.
It dug deep
I felt rejected
I thought of all the other times I’ve been rejected
That my husband cannot empathize, that he rejects my emotions
that he laughs at tears or anger
feels like a rejection of me
When I was a child and got picked last for sports teams
I realized that deep deep down inside,
I don’t feel lovable
and I don’t even feel likable
My former mentor, Martha, suggested that I have “rejection issues”. I could not see it then. I really tried, but I just did not feel that as a “root issue”. We listened to a series of tapes. Martha had made notes, 11 pages of notes: Here they are in PDF: OVERCOMING REJECTION
The experience of losing the election peeled off a big layer of the onion.
I shouldn’t care
that I am not chosen, not elected by them
The truth is that
I was “chosen in Him before the foundation of the world”
and I am “accepted in the beloved” (Eph 1 NKJV)
Anyway, it got me evaluating my life.
I have been trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up
My entire adult life, I have regretted studying engineering and wished I had studied medicine. I applied for substitute teacher and bus driver at the school, but I have spent 25 years raising 8 children and I really really want to be with adults at work (thought I love all of my children deeply and would not trade the time with them).
I decided to look into getting an RN and I have been doing so, and getting excited about it.
Anyway, the candidate elected at the caucus is supposed to sign off that she is willing to be on the ballot within 3 days and I hadn’t heard otherwise, so I assumed she had. But yesterday, I was informed she had declined the nomination and I was asked if I would be on the ballot. I accepted. In this town, if one is on the ballot in the Republican line, its a shoo in.
So, I am most likely still going to be the town clerk
as well as a nursing student.
I would encourage anyone who reads anything I have ever written to be sure to DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK! "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check." James 3:2
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